Awkward, Brave, and Kind
Yesterday, I stood in front of 1st and 2nd year students at Sheridan College who bravely turned up to learn some coping skills to be more resilient.
One of my “tools” as part of the session was to remind people to connect with human beings in a real way, and we started by writing down everyone they could think of that they could chat with about various things.
Lists were short.
I immediately pushed them outside of their comfort zones and had them introduce themselves to someone in the room they didn’t know, and talk about why they are in their programs.
There is something special that happens between two people sitting side by side, eye to eye at a lecture hall table saying “I have no idea what I'm going to do with this degree… I just came!” and hearing the palpable relief of the others with similar responses. The knowing laughter, the shared experience that maybe this is scary and weird but the comfort that we’re in it together. That is human connection. No fireworks, no BFF’s, not for the gram. Just shooting the s*it with someone and being a little bit vulnerable.
It seems that these days unless people are forced to introduce themselves, share a bit about who they are and actually ask the other person the same thing, they won’t do it.
Let me repeat that: if you are not forced to connect, you remain alone.
Awkward, Brave, and Kind is a tagline of Brown’s, an MSW well known for her Ted Talks and research on shame and connection. I hope today, I can encourage you to be awkward, brave, and kind.
Be awkward “Hey, we haven’t actually met before, I’m Kaya. I’m new to X company”
Be brave “If you have 10 minutes after the meeting, I’d love to hear a bit more about the department since I’m new to the organization”
Be kind “Thanks everyone, let’s get started. I want to say thank you to all of you for really showing up today. Not for just joining the Teams call, but for being present, being curious and challenging each other when you see the need. This team rocks and we have been through a lot lately. I just wanted to start by saying thanks”.
It might feel weird, clunky and slow, and it will be the best thing you have done for yourself and others in a long time.
DM me or chime in below if you do this today. Try it. You will sometimes succeed, and other times feel dorky and flop. But try, because, without connection, we cannot thrive.